Archive for the ‘Satire??’ category

FYI: I’m Racist

Fri,26 May, 2006

Because I expect and demand that people who come to this country to live and work abide by our laws, I'm a racist, nativist, Xenophobe, sexist, bigot, homophobe, etc. I'm just not "nuanced". Add to that, I THANK GOD for it. I also happen to think that we shouldn't be rewarding people who violate our laws. The big issue of the day is NOT immigration. Don't let anybody suck you into believing that.

BTW, I don't think that minorities and folks here illegally should be given preferential treatment when it comes to getting a job, getting into a university etc. Nor should any member of the Talliban be admitted to any U.S. school. There are those who say "well we were at war with bin Laden, not the Talliban". Ask me if I give a sweet rosey shit.

 Let's pretend that we're liberals for a moment. I'll give you a chance to evacuate your stomach content first…………………..

O.K. let's pretend that there isn't enough money for education. Seems to me that one of the first steps would be to quit paying for those students who aren't supposed to be here in this country.

But then that would be racist.

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Brokeback Mountain in 30 Seconds…

Wed,8 March, 2006

And Re-enacted by bunnies.

 

Democrats Finally Have A Plan??

Wed,8 March, 2006

Pelosi to Unveil Democrat ‘Contract on America’

by Scott Ott

 

(2006-03-07) — The Democrat party, which has come under fire from within and without recently for its lack of a cohesive message or platform just eight months out from a national election, will soon unveil a plan intended to emulate the success of the Republicans’ 1994 ‘Contract with America,’ according to House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

“We took a good concept that offered bad policies, and brought our progressive ideals to it,” said Rep. Pelosi. “We wanted a name that capitalized on the success of the previous plan, but made it clear that our goals are quite different.”

The Democrat ‘Contract on America’ will be launched within the next several weeks, she said, “and it’s destined to pull our party together, give us a sense of mission and meaning, and to inspire some really amazing bumper stickers and buttons.”

Mrs. Pelosi said the key difference between the old ‘Contract with America’, and the new ‘Contract on America’ is captured in the preposition.

The phrase was suggested by progressive linguist George Lakoff, (rhymes with…)*  the U.C. Berkeley professor who consults with Democrats on “how to say what they mean without using traditional, culture-bound words that people understand.”

“The word ‘on’ in the ‘Contract on America’ denotes something positive and active,” said Mr. Lakoff. “It indicates that Democrat ideas are not off, they’re right on. It’s much stronger than the word ‘with’, which always sounded passive. The ‘Contract on America’ says Democrats are progressively leading America onward in a single, inevitable direction.”

Rep. Pelosi said top Democrats “need just a few more weeks to finalize the ‘Contract on America’, now that we have agreed to this catchy title.”

“I’m sure the actual ideas and policies will start to flow from there,” she said. “Then you’ll see the American people rally to the Democrat cause in a way that hasn’t happened since we nominated Michael Dukakis for the presidency.”

 

*My own addition.

 

Guess it’s about as good as it’s going to get.